Tag Archives: Whining

TIPS TO STOP WHINING IN ITS TRACKS

Remember Wendy Whiner as played by Gilda Ratner on Saturday Night Live? We loved to laugh at her, but a whining child imakes us want to whine.  What to do?  Start with this poem and then read the  article accompanying it.

How to stop whining

Jean Tracy, MSS is one of my Parenting Gurus. She offers lots of free advice that is on target and presented with lots of  tips for applying her advice. This article is one.  Go here to read it.  After reading the article, subscribe to her Free Newsletter and Receive 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids

I really liked her suggestion in this article to discuss the whining at a time a child is not whining. She suggests starting that conversation by talking about a time you felt sorry for yourself and then talking about  activities that have helped you. Finally she suggests teaching:

The Daydream Activity:

1. Tell her, “When you’re daydreaming and feeling sad, become aware of self-pity.”
2. Physically shake your head “No!” to the daydream.
3. Yell, “STOP” to the thoughts.
4. Come back the present. Notice your body and the things around you.
5. Reconnect with what’s happening now and focus on something good.

Advise her to use this activity as often as she needs

Parenting tips

These Three Emotional  Fitness Training tips enhance Jean Tracy’s Day Dream Activity.

The first: Teach your child what matters. And that starts with rating pain. When your toddler is crying uncontrollable after a bump and cannot even get up to come to you, go to the child pick her up offer comfort, and  say “Big Pain”; when toddler is coming to you for comfort call the pain “Medium  Pain”; when obviously a bit hurt but not needing comfort say ” Small Pain.”  You can do this even before the child starts talking.

Talk directly to school aged and teen about what matters. For example, words that hurt create big pains, but  physical hurts are usually worse.

Words that hurt often lead to what Albert Ellis calls  “awfulizing” or making a mountain out of a mole hill. Whiners do this a lot.  Better than whining about someone else’s hurtful words teach your child to rate the truth of the words, to look for a lesson, to ignore sch words when obviously spoken to bully or hurt.

The  second tip: teach your child how to  calm negative self talk with EFT’s Sloganeering. This builds on the Day Dream Activity.

SLOGANEER

Help your child develop some slogans and to use them when ever tempted to whine. Teach her to bring helpful slogans  into play after the word “Poof” in the Day Dream Activity.

The third: Strengthen all your child’s Self Soothing Skills.    Buy my  eBook Self-soothing to Create Calm” now.

It costs less than an ice cream cone  Not only will you  help your child, but as you learn the exercises you will strengthen your emotional fitness.

Remember you can read Amazon eBooks on any of your devices by using this application.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO

Remember sharing is caring and the easiest way to practice kindness is to share this post if you found it helpful.  Share it even if it doesn’t speak to you, it will speak to some. Didn’t like it?  Comment and tell me why and how to improve.

Katherine

OTHER LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

FIVE STOP THE COMPLAINTS PARENTING TIPS

This is a recast of an Emotional Fitness Training blog post and offers  parenting advice about complaints, yours and your kids. First, a cartoon:

Emotional Fitness Training says complain less, enjoy more.

The Emotional Fitness blog post was suggested by WordPress’  Daily Prompt  asking bloggers to include the sentence “He tried to hit me with a forklift” in the last paragraph of a story.

My whole story was this paragraph: “I can’t complain, he missed me when he tried to floor me with a rock; then he tried to hit me with a forklift and  missed. Last laugh was and is mine; he hurt his back trying to hurt me and can’t get out of bed;  I am jumping for joy as justice prevailed.”

PARENTING THOUGHTS ABOUT KIDS COMPLAINING

When something hurts complaining once or twice to those that can hear  eases the pain; there after,  complaining only embeds the hurt in your brain and keeps it hurting you.  The Emotional Fitness Blog Post  discusses how to deal when you want to keep complaining.

The problem for parents? Some kids are very stubborn.  Reframe stubborn:  persistent, strong willed, and determined.  A persistent complainer of any age wears you down.  When it is your child wearing you down, you do what you know is wrong: you give in.  Welcome to the Reality World called Good Enough Parenting.

PARENTING TIPS ABOUT COMPLAINING

Parenting Tip One: All the usual good advice about complaining and whining works. You know what I mean: ignoring, distracting timing out the little ones and  implementing monetary or other punishments  for the bigger guys and gals who beat you to emotional death with complaints. (Non-abusive punishments are important parenting tools – actions speak louder than words.”

The main requirement is that you be more stubborn than you child.

Parenting Tip Two: If you do find yourself giving in, note that you are doing so preferably with a bit of humor.  Putting your hands in the air and aSaying something like, “I surrender, but now you owe me”  minimizes the damage.

Parenting Tip Three:  Think about the signals you send that let a kid know when complaining might work.  We all knew as kids when our parents meant business and when we had wiggle room to get our own way.  My mother yelled a great deal; when she started to whisper it was time to shape up or find a hiding place.

Parenting Tip Four:  Parenting is hard, frustrating work.  One requirement for all good enough parents are strong self soothing skills.  This poster teaches one:

An Emotional Fitness Training Exercise sesigned to improve your Emotional Intelligence.

One way to take a mini-break while gathering you thoughts so you act wisely.

Parenting Tip Five: Think about buying Parents Are People, Too or Self-Soothing, Creating Calm in Your Life.  Both are available as eBooks and cost much less than a calming trip to a spa.

 STAY STRONG

Finally, take time for you, time to laugh and play, and time to practice being  grateful for all you have been given. Remember kindness is key to the good life.

For all you do, thank you and if you think someone will enjoy this post, please share it. Doing so always helps me and hopefully some others.

Katherine

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