Tag Archives: When good kids runaway

ME-TIME REMINDER

Stay strong, stay emotionally fit and  stand strong against  the madness of our workaholic society.

A do nothing to do list

Image by thelastgeneralist.blogspot.com

I would never be happy with nothing to do, but that is me. For many the best me-time might well be lying in a hammock or on some sweet-smelling grass looking up a tree and just being.  I often did that as a child, but with a book by my side when restless me wanted to do something.

EMOTIONAL FITNESS TIP

My usual Friday reminder  to give me-time, family and friend time, laugh and play time first  place on your do to list.  Run away from most other must do stuff. Moreover, make at least one day free from money and electronic connections. Doing so allows you to focus more on what matters as well as doing a bit to help Mother Nature stay cool.

MY NEWS

This week’s free book  is about when Good Kids Run Away. Many do and most return home safely, sadly some do not.

freeonkindlewgkru

It can be read on a Kindle or a computer using Amazon’s free reading apps. This book is based on a chapter from my  book ‘When Good Kids Do Bad Things – A Survival Guide for Parents of Teenagers‘.

If you know someone who might be helped my book, care and share.

Next weekend, Twelve Easy Emotional Exercises To Tame Mad, Bad, and Sad Feelings will be free.  For a sample go here:

The fourth book in my Emotional Fitness Series, Know Your Feelings – Become a Feeling Detective, An Emotional Fitness Training® Program will be released on Amazon this week.  Watch for  my mini book launch of this newest one on my Personal Facebook Page.

STAY STRONG

Remember taking care of you strengthens you to take care of others. Be kind and caring for others matters and also strengthens you.

For all you do, thank you.

Katherine

FREE EBOOK REMINDER

A reminder, this week is about when Good Kids Run Away. Many do and most return home safely, sadly some do not.

freeonkindlewgkru

It can be read on a Kindle or a computer using Amazon’s free reading apps. This book is based on a chapter from my  book ‘When Good Kids Do Bad Things – A Survival Guide for Parents of Teenagers‘.

Also suggest you check out this post  Missing Children:Alive or Captivfor more information about kids who run away.  

STAY STRONG

If you a dealing with a child who has run, my heart is with you.  Remember you must take extra care of your own needs.  You will need to be strong when the child returns.

If you know someone who might be helped by this post, please share it.

For all you do, thank you.

Katherine

 

MISSING CHILDREN: SAFE OR CAPTIVE

The Cleveland Ohio kidnappings brought a chill to my heart, even though my kids are grown. More kids run away than are kidnapped. Nevertheless, this blog post should be read by all those caring for a teenager.

Missing child poster

Bella was found safe and sound. Image from  www.examiner.com  Like most good kids she was trying to make a point about what she wanted and her parents did not. 

Many of the foster children David and I cared for had run away before coming to live with us. We were a temporary home while the courts decided the child’s fate. Living peacefully with us was the best strategy for convincing a judge or probation officier to decide where to send you when it came time to leave our care.  Follow our rules and you might return home or go to a group home.  Break our rules, run away and you might end up in a locked facility.

Not all teens living with us used living with us to their advantage. For some of our kids, for one reason or another, running had become an ingrained habit. Some of those eventually fell prey to using sex as a survival tool, and I am not just talking about the girls.

These facts might interest you. I found them on the  National Runaway Safeline.

           Reasons for running away

  1. 47% of runaway / homeless youth indicated that conflict between them and their parent or guardian was a major problem. 
  2. Over 50% of youth in shelters and on the streets reported that their parents either told them to leave or knew they were leaving but did not care. 
  3. 80% of runaway and homeless girls reported having ever been sexually or physically abused. 34% of runaway youth (girls and boys) reported sexual abuse before leaving home and forty-three percent of runaway youth (girls and boys) reported physical abuse before leaving home. 
  4. Childhood abuse increases youths’ risk for later victimization on the street. Physical abuse is associated with elevated risk of assaults for runaway and homeless youth, while sexual abuse is associated with higher risk of rape for runaway and homeless youth. 

Please note, these were compiled mostly from statistics about youth using runaway shelters and crisis lines.  I would classify those as  troubled kids. Here is my short list of why kids ran away from us.

  1. Running to  a love partner
  2. Running to be with friends
  3. Running to go to a forbidden event
  4. Running to party
  5. Running to get high
  6. Running to avoid responsibility
  7. Running to avoid shame
  8. Running to prove one’s self which often went with thumbing your nose with authority
  9. Running to avoid conflict within home – parents or siblings
  10. Running to because of secrets
  11. Running as a way to control anger or sadness

PARENT TIPS ABOUT KIDS WHO RUNAWAY

Tip one: If a kid is picking a fight or running out of the house, cursing you so the neighbors will hear  – a prime Gotcha War Tactic;  yell to her departing back “Come home when you have calmed down.”  Makes you the good guy in your neighbors eyes, but mostly gives the kid a face-saving way to come home.

Tip two:    For curfew violations, wait the night out.  Greet your child with the words, “I am relieved you are safe Are you hungry, tired, want a shower and change of clothes?” Whichever the child opts for say “Fine, we will talk later about how to keep this from happening again. I need my sleep.”  Try for an attitude of resigned patience and gentle humor.

Tip three:   If you cannot follow tip two, just say through your gritted teeth: “Although I am happy you are back and safe, I am too grumpy from loss of sleep to talk.  I suggest you wait in your room until I no longer feel like snapping at you. I love you but for now leave me alone.”

The above is the best way to handle a first run. For more advice my eBook. The eBook ‘When Good Kids Run Away‘ is free for five days this week from Wednesday 15th to Sunday 19th May. Can’t wait? It is available right now for less than a latte.

It can be read on a Kindle or a computer using Amazon’s free reading apps. This book is based on a chapter from my  book ‘When Good Kids Do Bad Things – A Survival Guide for Parents of Teenagers‘.

STAY STRONG

Parenting is hard work and contending with a good child who runs or engages in other difficult behaviors can break your heart. Hopefully, the above tips and resources will help you and your child survive the hard times.  Practicing any of my Daily Easy Exercises alone or with your family strengthens your ability to do not just thrive, but build good memories.  Start by learning my With Beauty Easy Emotional Fitness Exercise. 

For all you do, thank you.

Katherine

TWO DISCLAIMERS

The first:  Although built upon evidenced based practices, there is no guarantee my advice is the right advice for you and your family. Experiment, try my tips; if they are not useful to you try another parent adviser. You are the expert on you and your child; the rest of us experts on many different things.

The second: I have dysgraphia, a learning disability that peppers my writing with mis-spelling and punctuation errors. All my books are professionally edited. Not so my blog posts. Although I use all the grammar and spelling checks, mistakes slip by. If they bother you, seek another source of support for life’s less savory moments.   Life is too short to let problems you can avoid annoy or stress you.

AIKIDO AS RUNAWAY PROTECTION

Aikido is a martial arts form that focuses mainly on preventing and defusing anger, one reason good kids run away.

hostosthumbAikido  also equips you to protect yourself when needed.  Master teachers of Aikido are also known as Peace DoJos.

PARENT ADVICE FOR RUNAWAY PROTECTION

I would like to see on-going teaching of Aikido mandatory in all schools.  When my kids were out there, I rested more easily knowing they had been trained to defuse anger and to protect themselves.

I would also like to see  all who carry a gun as part of their job, and  all who seek licensing to own a gun, forced to take Aikido training.

I can’t help but believe that had the Columbine, Newtown, schools taught the lessons inherent in Aikido, the unhappy shooters might have more fully embraced.  One of the main causes of violence is isolation and turning others into objects of condemnation of one sort or another.  Aikido  seeks understanding and connected with those too often seen as the other.

For more information about Aikido go here.  Here is a the Peace Dojo I worked with in Mott Haven. Urban Visions.

ALL THE USUAL STUFF ABOUT STAYING STRONG

Here is my thank you gift if you have just started following me.   It is a free guide to the Daily Twelve Emotional Fitness Exercises. These are easy to learn, easy to practice and helpful to anyone dealing with anger, sadness, stress and other of life’s  every day problems. They will help you stay calm and in control.

All my other  books can be found on my  Amazon’s Author Page.

You can also follow me on the When Good Kids Do Bad Things Facebook page. If you go there please take a moment to like it.

Finally, You might find my Emotional Fitness Training’s Pinterest site helpful. Both of my blog posts are pinned there, and I also share other people’s information that I think will help you stay strong both as a parent and an individual. Take a peek by clicking here.

As I tell myself a thousand times a day,  do not weaken, give lots of love to others and to yourself, be grateful, practice kindness, live now, give and seek forgiveness, and always hope  the blessing of the forces beyond our control are with you and those you love.

Katherine

DISCLAIMER: FORGIVE MY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS FOR I HAVE DYSGRAPHIA.  If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here. I have dysgraphia which means that sometimes my sentence structure is not that easy to follow or I make other errors. Still, most people understand me. All of my books are professionally edited, but not all of my blog posts are.  If this troubles you, feel free to read elsewhere.  If you persevere, you are practicing kindness by lifting my spirits for that means you find what I say helpful and that is one of my missions. Kindness always repays those who spread it.