Tag Archives: When Good Kids Hang Out with The Wrong Crowd

LOST DREAMS

We all have dreams.  Some become nightmares, others come true.  I was looking for another song when I found this.

Have you read the lyrics? Here they are:

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living,
I dreamed that love would never die
I prayed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid,
And dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid;
No song unsung, no wine untasted.
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
And turn your dreams to shame.
Still I dream he’d come to me;
That we would live the years together,
But there are dreams that cannot be,
And there are storms we cannot weather.
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living.
So different now from what it seemed.
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed. 

These English lyrics are by Herbert Kretzmer, based on the original French libretto by Alain Boublil from the original French production of Les Miserables.  They are sung by Fantine who ended her life as a prostitute.  But we all have lost dreams and the lost dreams of parents infect their children.

Susan Boyle models all the reasons to keep trying. She is the poster child for never giving up.  If you wept a bit at as she sang, it was probably remembering the dreams you’ve lost and we all have them.

PARENT ADVICE ABOUT DREAMS

This week’s free Ebook has been about your kids keeping company with kids you hate.  My last post was about appearances.  Susan Boyle is also the poster child for judging performance not appearance.  But that is not my main message. Here is what I want you to think about.

You have dreams for your children, and they have dreams of their own. Dreams are about the future. Friends and first loves are in the now.  For those moving into that harder world of broken dreams, the happiness of meeting needs not found in the family matter most. For parents, who know the hurt of lost dreams, their children’s future matters most.

Reality check: The future is not yours to predict or control. Stuff happens, sometimes bad stuff, sometimes good stuff.   All who study such things agree, what matters is savoring the good and learning from the bad.   Your job as a parent is to set your children free and then to comfort them when bad comes. It starts with learning to walk, falling, and getting up and trying again.  The friendships and loves of adolescence are learning to walk with others.

STAY STRONG

Given that we cannot predict the future, what remains is hoping for the best and strengthening your emotional fitness.  You can do that right now by going here to Be With Beauty.

Next week’s free eBook  is When Good Kids Takes Risks. You can download it  from Friday 7 June to Monday 11 June.

Thank you for caring, sharing, and all the other things you do to make your corner of the world better.

Katherine

Advertisements

HELP FOR CHILDREN OF DIVORCE

Interrupting my posts about the company your child keeps to promote a ten star book on helping children heal from divorce.  Get it free today.

Divorce book

mY REVIEW

Jean Tracy does it again. For thirteen years I stopped being a therapist and became a special need foster parent. Over 300 teens lived with my family for days, weeks, and sometimes, months. Most were teenagers and all were in trouble with the law. Sadly, most were also children of divorce. Anyone who cares about children knows divorce hurts.

Not only does divorce hurt children, but far too many of those children don’t know how to deal with the hurt. Many hold the pain in, others act out in destructive ways. Either way, the pain of what has happened erodes their ability to cope with the hurt in useful ways. Jean’s Character Building Divorce Stories to Help Your Child Heal provides, not just advice, but Five Star Tools to strengthen what I call a child’s emotional fitness, and others call resilience or Emotional Intelligence. Not only will the child deal better with the hurt of divorce, but he or she will be better prepared to deal with other negative feelings that are part of life.

Research shows that talk while helpful is not as effective as tools that aid processing. Jean’s stories start the talking process, but then provide interactive tools that aid processing the pain. In one example a child was helped by her teacher to write letters to her parents telling them she needed to spend more time with each of them. In another story, a boy learns about Skype as a way he and his father can talk across the miles that separate them.

Too many parent advice books are fat with explanations, but lean on strategies. Not this one. Whether you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher,  coach, or therapist if you care about children, this is the book you need to buy, read, and share.

Jean’s book is free today June 4th and tomorrow, June 5th.   Here is the link. 

STAY STRONG

Caring parents in an unhappy marriage face a painful dilemma – keep trying for the sake of a child or children versus giving up and seeking their own happiness.   Romantic love is a many delusional thing, many second marriages turn out to be just as unhappy as first marriages.  So think twice before divorcing and get counseling first.

Just so you know my bias, many times during my 42 years of marriage both David and I might have divorced, had we not had children or had we had more money.  I am glad we hung on.  Doing so, however, has to be a personal decision and children can be just as hurt by living with angry, depressed, or unhappy parents as by divorce.  Life is a struggle and relationship probably one of the places we struggle most.  With the right tools, however, we can all move forward toward the good life.

For all you do, thank you and if you know children and parents dealing with divorce, get Jean’s book. My eBook When Good Kids Hang Out with the Wrong Crowd is also free until midnight June 5th.  Reading either is good, but  for Jean and I writing reviews ,while not obligatory, are  definitely priceless.

Katherine