Tag Archives: SMART Goals

Forget About Keeping Your Children Happy

Start with yourself first. If you are calm and in control of your feelings, your children will be better able to control their feelings. Here are six Emotional Fitness exercises to get you started.

Exercise number one: The One Minute Meditation (The OMM)

  1. Breathe in slowly to a count of five.
  2. Hold your breath for a count of five.
  3. Breathe out slowly to another count of five.
  4. Breathe normally and simply observe how it feels to breathe in and out.
  5. If thoughts make their presence known,  observe them and continue breathing; the same with feelings.
  6. At the end of a minute, sooner if you want, take a deep breathe in, hold it for a count of five.
  7. As you breathe out, say a silent “Ahhhhhh” or “Thank you” and smile softly.

Practice the OMM until you can do it comfortably and without having to read the exercise.  That takes as little as five times for some, twenty-five for others.

Here’s an added bonus: the OMM can be used to calm you when stress mounts. When you are aware of being stressed, OMM. To strengthen its effect as a calming tool, after the first breath, add a two or three-word calming mantra as you continue to slowly breathe in and out.  “Life goes on” works for some,   “Staying strong” for others, still others craft their own mantra.

Exercise two: Practice Gratitude.  Every time you say thank you , you are building your emotional fitness. Get in the habit of thanking not just people, but all the good things you encounter as you go about your day.  Moreover, when bad things happen, look for a lesson, and when you find it OMM and say “Thank You.”

Exercise three: Be With Beauty: Beauty is everywhere; as the sage Confucius  noted, “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

One trick when beauty is not immediately visible is to narrow your focus. Find a picture in a museum unappealing? Focus on what you do find appealing. Perhaps that is a color, the way a line swirls or a form takes shape.

Surround yourself with what you find beautiful you can practice this exercise off and on throughout the day. Use pictures, beautiful music, flowers, seashells or even rocks to create beauty spots wherever you sit.

Point out beauty to your children.

Visit my Be With Beauty Pinterest Board. If you want to be a Be With Beauty photographer, let me know atemotfit@live.com and I will send you details about how to share your Being With Beauty pictures with others.

Exercise four: Remember what matters.

Some say buying the newest car, the latest fashions, the most up to date gadgets; others say how you look; still others think it is how smart you are or what school you went to, how much money you have, have many jewels you wear, or how fancy a car you drive and life’s important missions.  They are wrong.

Research shows these are less important than being kind and caring, forgiving others for their flaws, forgiving yourself for not being perfect, and working with others to make the world a better place.  The importance of caring is a long-recognized value. Across all ages, throughout all religions and all philosophies, it is believed the good life cannot be found unless it involves being caring and just.

Exercise five: Use rating scales to help you stay focused on what matters. Anything can be rated.

Exercise six: Set SMART GOALS:


Practice kindness by liking, commenting or sharing this post. Liking encourages others to read. Commenting says you have read and thought about the post. Sharing is a gift to three people: me, you, and those who benefit from your sharing.



These links are for those not familiar with Emotional intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness. 







The weekend cometh and time to do a bit of thinking about what matters, particularly if you are a parent. It is not enough to want your child to be happy and that leads to my commercial. My newest eBook is now on Amazon’s Kindle.

Book cover for Know Your Mission So You Can Reach Your Goals. An Emotional Fitness Program

Go for the Good, not the Gold. You just might get both. Buy here. Knowing your mission change your life. 

Living a passionate, personal mission wedded to the broader mission of spreading kindness is the only true path to the good life.  Moreover, it is path anyone can walk. Finally, your child will walk that path if you lead the way.

Parenting advice:

Tip one: Take a bit of this weekend’s Me-time and Quiet-time to think about your mission as a person and as a parent.  If you can sum both up in a few sentences and both align with kindness, good for you.  My book will help you refine your, but you are on your way.  If not, spend the $2.99 for the book. Less than a Starbuck’s Coffee, a Cold Stone Hot Fudge Sundae, or Dinner at MacDonald’s and a longer lasting value.

Tip two:  People, including parents have goals.  But having a goal is not setting a goal which is why goals do not always get me.  My books added value is a session on SMART Goals.  I don’t promise you will reach every SMART Goal you set, but I do promise you will increase the possibilities of setting goals that you and your children can reach.  One of my mottos is “If a goal was not met, the wrong goal was set.”  SMART goals increase the odds you will set right goals for you and your child.


Knowing what matters works, missions are about what matter.  The Mission by which I mean, practicing kindness every where and anyway you can matters most.

All of you who read me, know I sell, but I try to avoid the hard sell. Not with this one.  You also know I hate the false promises of the happiness gurus.  However, I am hard selling this book.  I think it is more important than all my others. Moreover, I make these promises,  read this one, work your way through the exercises, learn to set SMART goals and you will live the good life and so will your children.

Care and share and thank you.