Tag Archives: Pain tolerance

SIX TIPS TO BOOST YOUR CHILD’S PAIN TOLERANCE

Trying to keep your kids happy? Stop. Kids know how to be happy. What they need to learn is how to deal with suffering  and to move on without bitterness.

To get the good, you need to endure the pain

With all the emphasis on happiness circulating around those dispensing advice to parents, pain tolerance is neglected. Not good.  How do you build pain tolerance in your children? Here are six  parenting tips that will help.

Parenting tip one: Self-soothing is an essential skill when it comes to enduring life’s slings and arrows. Self-soothing skills can be taught at any age, but when teaching, remember age and stage. Infants need to learn the ABC’s of self’-soothing.  That is done by not rushing to comfort. Sleep is the best time to ignore cries for help. Most night-time criers will cry themselves to sleep or back to sleep and wake up happy and cheerful. 

Parenting tip two: Teach pain rating skills, start by teaching the child to rate  physical pains can begin as soon as the child learns to walk and talk. Applaud tumbles when the child gets up and goes on. But if the child cries rate the pain for the child. Here is a useful rating scale:

  • Immobilized by pain and cannot even come to you for comfort say, “Big, big pain.”
  • Rushes to you and has a hard time calming down, say, “Big Pain.”
  • Calms down easily once in your lap, say, “Middle-size Pain.”
  • Stops crying without coming to you  say, “Small Pain.”

As the pain decreases note “Pain getting smaller” and then “Pain  gone.”

Parenting tip three: When the child can talk fairly well teach Calming Breath .  See this Breathing Buddies link.  Add lots of other self soothing skills particularly Remember What Matters.  See the link to Creating Calm for more suggestions. 

Parenting tip four: By the time a child enters school, you can talk more about learning to understand and tolerate pain.   Use the Porcupine story  to teach  that  hurt is part of all relationships. As pain can lead to the desire to hurt others, it is also important to teach making amends and forgiveness. 

Parenting tip five: Teach teens the art of winning Gotcha Wars.  That means you need to learn that art. See the link for my book of the same name.

Parenting tip six: Get your child self-defense training. FTolearating pain and forgiving others  does not mean allowing abuse. Moreover, self-defense boosts self-confidence.  Take family lessons. Best resource for this:   Peace Jojos.

 As always you need to model what you teach. Bad news? Not really for by teaching these skills strengthens them.  As you teach your child, you will increase your ability to tolerate pain and add to your ability to enjoy the good.

STAY STRONG

Another way to survive the pricks of close relationships is to follow the Five in One Rule. That rule? For every prick there must be five kisses or the equivalent of kisses.   And as always abuse cannot be tolerated.

If you are new to the idea of emotional fitness exercises visit this blog page: Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises to get started  improving your emotional intelligence.

Thank you all for all you do to care and share with others. Doing a little matters a lot.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

DAILY POST CRITICAL THINKING EXERCISE

I use these prompt  ideas to think about what to write.  If I know what I am going to write, the prompts challenge me to see if what I wrote fits in with the prompt.

Here’s this post’s prompt. Third From the Top: Head to “Blogs I Follow” in the Reader. Scroll down to the third post in the list. Take the third sentence in the post, and work it into your own.

The laughs on the Daily Prompt for the third post was just a picture as for many bloggers it is Wordless Wednesdays and only pictures are posted.

I hadn’t heard of Wordless Wednesdays, but now I know and I will now declare some posts as  .  Not this one, but I did work a picture into it via a Poster Coach. Of course Poster Coaches are not wordless, but will  work for me, when I do not have time to post.

 

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Happiness Guru’s Shut Up

This post idea came to me after reading this WordPress’s Daily Prompt  “What’s the one piece of advice you wish someone had given you years ago?”  Mine?

HAPPINESS

I don’t know when I first read this poem. Probably during my teens.  It gave me a wake up call. Life always provides pain, this poem helped me appreciate the good and that strengthened me for enduring the bad.

I wish with all my heart the media and happiness gurus were spreading this gospel instead of their “Just Do” it rants.

parenting TIPs

The younger the child the more s/he lives in the now. A newborn baby is a very good Buddhist.  Very soon children learn to fear pain and to shy away from what hurts; some become bullies or vengeful.  Understandable, but a life without pain is a comatose life and seeking it is as delusional as trying to find the pot at the end of the rainbow.

The two most important things parents and other adults need to teach children remain:

  1. How to self-sooth so when life is not to their liking they don’t retreat or turn mean.
  2. How to code reality, meaning learning to think more clearly than feelings allow.

With all the emphasis on happiness circulating around those dispensing advice to parents, pain tolerance is neglected. Not good.  How do you build pain tolerance in your children? Here are three parenting tips that will help.

Parenting tip one: Self-soothing is an essential skill when it comes to enduring life’s slings and arrows. Self-soothing skills can be taught at any age, but when teaching, remember age and stage. Infants need to learn the ABC’s of self’-soothing.  That is done by not rushing to comfort. Sleep is the best time to ignore cries for help. Most night-time criers will cry themselves to sleep or back to sleep and wake up happy and cheerful.  

Parenting tip two: When language develops more direct teaching can begin.  Teaching Calming Breath starts the process.  See the Breathing Buddies link below.

Parenting tip three:  By the time a child enters school you can start teaching that life brings pain and learning to tolerate pain matters.  Start by teaching what matters most on getting to the good life; that means  teaching the Golden Rule in one of its many variations.

As pain can lead to the desire to hurt others, it is also important to teach making amends and forgiveness. 

Parenting tip four: As always you need to model what you teach. Bad news? Not really for by learning to self-sooth and remember what matters you will increase your ability to tolerate pain and add to your ability to enjoy the good.

STAY STRONG

You can download  a copy of Priscilla Leonard’s poem free at the EFTI store.  It is one of my poster coaches.

EFTI’s poster coaches are free digital downloads designed to  improve #Emotional_Intelligence. Best printed up in color on 8″ by 11″ card stock. the posters can be posted almost anywhere.  Some  people frame theirs.

My intended audience? Anyone who wants to improve their emotional fitness or anyone else’s emotional intelligence.  Parents, teachers, therapists, coaches, fitness trainers, school guidance counselors, preachers, and non-preachers.

If you are new to the idea of emotional fitness exercises visit this blog page: Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises to get started  improving your emotional intelligence.

Thank you all for all you do to care and share with others. Doing a little matters a lot.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

AN ENDORSEMENT

I have actually had the pleasure of “meeting” Mrs. Gordy-Levine online, and she is actually one who has BEST helped me understand my OWN emotional issues…even read the books she orients to Parents regarding their kids, and found TONS of amazing advice!  Check for her on Facebook (just look her name up!) and other “Social Medias”…she loves to hear from people, and though she is ONE BUSY LADY, she knows how to make time to listen & to help! 🙂

Thank you Jenn.

Happy dancing

Dancing is one of two Emotional Fitness Exercises. The first: Move Your Body; the Second Be With Beauty.  This video adds a third: Practice Gratitude – the true path to being happy.

parenting TIP

Even before a child can walk if exposed to music, he or she will dance.  So make music and dancing part of your child’s life.  As Shel Silverstein suggested:

“Do a loony-goony dance
‘Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain’t been there before.”

STAY STRONG

Here’s another quote to remind you to dance. You will be strengthened and your strength will strengthen your child. This one is by Rumi:

“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.”

If you are new to the idea of emotional fitness exercises visit this blog page: Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises to get started  improving your emotional intelligence.

Thank you all for all you do to care and share with others. Doing a little matters a lot.

Katherine

This post was inspired by this Daily Prompt: Papa Loves Mambo: What sort of music was played in your house when you were growing up? What effect, (if any) did it have on your musical tastes?

I grew up before technology brought music to all.  I have no memory of the music played in my house. We listened to the news and things like The Lone Ranger on the radio.  Then came TV and the Dick Clark Show, Elvis on Ed Sullivan followed in time by the Beetles.  Somewhere along the way I came to love music of all sorts, but mostly the music that set me dancing.

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Pain Tolerance Matters More Than Happiness

This post came to me after reading today’s WordPress’s Daily Prompt.  The question was do you plan trips or wander spontaneously.  Read this first.

To get the good, you need to endure the pain

To answer the prompt: I am a compulsive trip planner, I want to get where I am going as quickly and easily as possible. My husband, however, is a happy wanderer. He likes to “Go Round Robin’s Barn” as my mother used to say.

Together we get there on time but enjoy wonders along the way.

parenting TIP

Balance works best and partnering with others adds balance.  Partnering also brings pricks and pains.  Balancing the good and the bad is essential the closer the relationship.

With all the emphasis on happiness circulating around those dispensing advice to parents, pain tolerance is neglected. Not good.  How do you build pain tolerance in your children? Here are three parenting tips that will help.

Parenting tip one: Self-soothing is an essential skill when it comes to enduring life’s slings and arrows. Self-soothing skills can be taught at any age, but when teaching, remember age and stage. Infants need to learn the ABC’s of self’-soothing.  That is done by not rushing to comfort. Sleep is the best time to ignore cries for help. Most night-time criers will cry themselves to sleep or back to sleep and wake up happy and cheerful.  

When language develops more direct teaching can begin.  Teaching Calming Breath starts the process.  See the Breathing Buddies link below.

Parenting tip two:  By the time a child enters school you can start teaching that life brings pain and learning to tolerate pain matters.  Start by teaching what matters most on getting to the good life; that means  teaching the Golden Rule in one of its many variations.

As pain can lead to the desire to hurt others, it is also important to teach making amends and forgiveness. 

Parenting tip three: As always you need to model what you teach. Bad news? Not really for by learning to self-sooth and remember what matters you will increase your ability to tolerate pain and add to your ability to enjoy the good.

STAY STRONG

One way to survive the pricks of close relationships is to follow the Five in One Rule. That rule? For every prick there must be five kisses or the equivalent of kisses.   And as always abuse cannot be tolerated.

If you are new to the idea of emotional fitness exercises visit this blog page: Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises to get started  improving your emotional intelligence.

Thank you all for all you do to care and share with others. Doing a little matters a lot.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST