Tag Archives: One Minute Meditation

RELIEF FROM PARENTING STRESS

A blog post reminding you to stay warm and relaxed, no matter if the weather outside is “frightful.”  Use our OMM to get you out of the cold.

http://www.cartoon-clipart.com/cartoon_clipart_images/girl_or_woman_relaxing_on_the_beach_under_an_umbrella_0515-1011-1713-0943.html
IMAGE BY: Cartoon Clip  Use Mind power to take a quick break from stress and cold.  Read on. 

Lots of my parenting advice uses mind power and self-hypnosis to let you take a break from the stress of being an overworked parent. And yes, all parents are overworked in today’s too fast paced world.   

Today’s parenting Tips:

Tip One: Practice my One Minute Meditation ( OMM), until you find taking one Calming Breath chases stress away.  How to OMM … start with a Calming Breath:

  • Breathe in slowly to a count of five
  • Hold your breath for a count of five
  • Breathe out slowly to another count of five
  • As you breathe out, say a silent “Ahhhhhh”
  • Smile softly 

The OMM is an extension of Calming Breath.  After taking a Calming Breath:

  • Breathe normally.
  • Observe what it feels to just breathe in and breathe out.
  • Continue for at least four breaths, but try to extend this exercise for at least a minute but more if you have the time and want to continue. 
  • As you extend the exercise, occasionally, take another Calming Breath.
  • When you are ready to end the exercise, take another  Calming Breath and go on.

The more you practice, the stronger the power of the OMM grows.  The stronger the OMM, the easier you will find it to stay in control of stress and negative feelings. Practice when you are waiting for a bus, waiting for a red light to change, or waiting for a three-minute egg to finish or water to boil. 

Tip Two: Create an imaginary Safe Place to visit as you OMM.  The easiest way is to call up memories of the times and places you felt safe and relaxed.  Then combine and add to these places until you feel you have created one that relaxes you as you see yourself there.  Finally, always go to that place as you OMM.

Tip three: Make a daily date with yourself to have me-time and quiet-time.  Even five minutes of each will improve your mood and strengthen your emotional fitness skills.

Tip four:  Always use weekends or other time off days to extend your me-time and quiet-time.

Tip five: Here is a New York Times article about the importance of taking some breaks from all that work.

STAY STRONG

Life is a struggle, relationships hard, raising good kids in today’s world harder than ever.  For more reading about how to relax and win the stress war, try Parents Are People Too: An Emotional Fitness Training Program for Parents

Remember, if you like this post comment or  share. If you don’t like it, tell me why.  Your opinion, as well as your kindness, matters a great deal to me.

Katherine

HOVERING PARENTS

TOPIC:  Hovering Parents.  First take the test, then read the article.

This blog post has an interactive portion. First, do this quiz, ‘A Quiz Are you a Hover Mother or Father?‘.

The quiz is only something to think about and not strongly evidenced based. So take what it says about you with several grains of salt.  The test will help you better decide if  you are doing too much for you child.

Here is a report on a more robust study indicating the need for parents to hover less.

Article about hovering.

MY COMMENTS

Anxiety drives hovering.  Too much pressure on parents drives anxiety. Here are the pressures that have increased hovering since I grew up:

  1. Horror based media stories that emphasize dangers.  The fact remains that although there are dangers, the media stories are stories because they are not common.  Think of the fear created by Jame Holmes shooting up a movie theater.  Then think about how many people go to movies every single day without guns going off in the theater.
  2. Making parents overly  responsible for children’s happiness.  Parents cannot guarantee happiness. Happiness depends on many things, genes, freedom from trauma, the right goals, and  luck. As Priscilla Leonard’s poem reminds us:

 Happiness is like a crystal,
Fair and exquisite and clear,
Broken in a million pieces,
Shattered, scattered, far and near. 
Now and then along life’s pathway,
Lo! some shining fragments fall;
But there are so many pieces,
No one ever finds them all.

3. The belief that involved parents equals success in school. It doesn’t if parents do the kids’ homework, and argue with teachers.

4. The belief that academic success guarantees life success.

5. The belief that one must love one’s work. We get paid to work because it is a job, not something we love doing.

6. The star mentality which says you have to be the best and brightest or you are nothing.

7. The worsening economy.

WHAT IS A PARENT TO DO?

I’ve posted elsewhere on how to best prepare your child for success in life. Here is one of those posts.

In order to stop hovering, parents have to quiet their anxiety.  My Twelve Daily Emotional Fitness Exercises are designed to aid in reducing anxiety. Start however by learning my One Minute Meditation. Here it is:

  1. Breath in slowly while tensing your muscles.
  2. Hold your breath and the tension for a count of four.
  3. Breathe out slowly, release the tension, smile gently (A  Calming Breath).
  4. Breathe normally for four breaths.
  5. Notice what it feels like just to breath in and out.
  6. Continue breathing normally.
  7. Periodically take a calming breath.
  8. Continue for at least one minute.
  9. Thereafter, whenever you are ready to stop, take another Calming Breath, and as you breathe out,  smile and say “Ahhhhh.”

Adding a bodily release adds to the power of this exercise.  Add a bodily release by putting your hands on your legs just above the knees and squeezing as you breathe in during a calming breath.  Increase the pressure why holding your breath.   As you breathe out, stop squeezing while consciously making note of the sensation of release.

Calming self talk  slogans also help enhance this exercise.  “Relax and release”, “Here now,“  “This will pass” are examples of calming slogans.  Any two, three, or four words that speak to you will do.  Say or think the calming slogan as you breathe out.

Thinking of a safe place further enhances this exercise.  Safe places can be imaginary, based on a memory or a number of memories.  Make one from your good memories.  The best safe places have sights, sounds, and smells  hat calm.

Finally, the more you practice, the more powerful your response to this exercise will be.  When first learning this self soothing exercise, practice when you are already relatively calm.  Eventually, you will find you can stay calm when all around you are stressed.

Tension is a habit.  Relaxing is a habit.  And bad habits can be broken and good habits formed.

William James, American Educator

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Be kind to me. Like this post, comment, or share. You will be helping me stay strong and maybe others as well.

IMAGE BY Babble.com