Tag Archives: kindness

Building strength in your child

Two habits build #emotional_intelligence in children. Remembering what matters is the first. Practicing Deliberate Kindness is the second.


What matters? This poster coach says it all:

What matters? Kindness to all.

Putting what matters into action matters as much as remembering it. Practicing kindness every where you can, when you can and as often as you can.  

Teach practicing kindness as a life skill to your child.  Doing so starts with two things: your example, and teaching good manners. Even before s/he has mastered kindness a child can learn to say “Thank you.”
Saying thank you is an act of deliberate kindess
A child can learn to say “Thank You” in American Sign Language, long before s/he can speak. Signing “Thank You” is similar to blowing a kiss, but the hand moves down over the heart.
The next lesson to teach is how to say “I m sorry.” This goes hand in hand with using time out as a disciplinary tool.  The child is released from time out and expected to say “I’m sorry” and only then to get a hug.  
This can also be taught as sign language. To sign “I’m sorry,” make your hand into a fist and rub it in a circular motion across your chest. It is like you are rubbing around your heart.
When the child can talk, the time has come to teach the art of a sincere verbal  apology.  Here is another poster coach detailing that
Emotional Fitness Training Skill Building Poster

All of the Poster Coaches used in this blog post can be downloaded free from the EFTI store.


Apologizing does not come easy to many. Men seem to have the most difficulty, however, actually  apologizing to a child seems difficult for most adults. The more you can apologize and the more you teach your child to do the same, the more good feeling grow both in your heart and in all relationships.
So let me remind you that if my posts annoy, I apologize. I will not stop my efforts to help, but ask you to stop following me. I will not be hurt.
Finally, as always thank you for all you do to support my efforts to make a difference by liking, commenting or sharing this post. You are practicing kindness.


This WordPress Daily Prompt: Against All Odds inspired this post: Tell us about a situation where you’d hoped against all hope, where the odds were completely stacked against you, yet you triumphed. Be sure to describe your situation in full detail. Tell us all about your triumph in all its glory.

I suffer from dysgraphia, it is a little known learning disability that makes getting the thoughts from your brain to a piece of paper in a recognizable form difficult. I confuse words, misspell common words, and violate grammar and punctuation rules constantly.

Given that my father was a news reporter, and wannabe writer, I wanted to be the same. I’ve done that and it has not been easy, nor have I had the great success I aspired to even though I did appear on Oprah.  I do think, however, both my parent’s teaching and empathy for the less-abled, related to my disability, Both  gifts have lead to a deep-seated desire to be kind.

Deliberate Kindness is one of my daily practices. Deliberate Kindness  has given me more contentment than success as a writer would have. Not that I would mind more success and still seek it, but practicing as much kindness as I can is a daily goal and much easier than writing.

The Importance of Mission

parenting advice

You have goals for your children, for yourself, and for your family. Good for you. But not enough. Goals are about what you want, where you want to go. So more important questions  are:

  1. Do you have a personal mission?
  2. Do you have a family mission?
  3. Are you help your children develop personal missions?

Missions are about how you want to be as a person as you take your life’s journey. Having a thought about and defined mission gives focus to your life, makes decision making easier and wiser.

Missions are created by thinking about what matters. What the sages  and what those who study such things think is that the healthiest missions  are built on a foundation of kindness, caring, and sharing.

Which leads to this blog post’s Poster Coach.  Remember What Matters:


For a free digital download of this poster go to the EFTIstore.

When you are teaching your children to be kind, you are also teaching them to be #emotionally intelligent.


Parenting is hard work and the results not always clear immediately, practice patience is a must and that means patience with yourself as well as with others.

Be grateful for what you have been given, forgive yourself and others for failing to be perfect. No one is. Continue to practice kindness and your efforts  bring forward a more just world for all. You make a difference.

Most EFTI  posters posted on my blog can be obtained at the EFTI Store  Many are free.  Poster Coaches are printed up in color on letter size card stock and used to inspire, teach, remind you to practice #emotional_fitness exercises.

This blog post was inspired by this Word Perfect Daily Prompt.  Obstacle Course: Think about what you wanted to accomplish last week. Did you? What are the things that hold you back from doing everything you’d like to do?

Thank you for all you do and as always stay strong.



Rob's Surf Report


Surfing wild, headlong
on life’s wave to unknown ends —
seeking bits of zen.

Enhanced by Zemanta

View original post


Parent advice designed to improve yours and your child’s Emotional Intelligence.  But first a cartoon that focuses on hocus-pocus parenting advice

The point? We all want to know what is coming, so we are well prepared.   Quite reasonably, all parents want  their children to be prepared for the future.  Nevertheless, the time you and your children have now is the time that matters most, for it is all we are promised.

Parenting tips

Parenting tip one: The future remains one of life’s unknowns and trying to predict what will happen even tomorrow does not always work.  That we cannot predict (or control) the future does not mean we shouldn’t make plans and prepare ourselves both for the good and bad that might await.

So why this post?  Because too many work too preparing the very young for school success.  Understandable as Western Culture believes the most direct path to the good life is a good education. Guess what? Not true. The best path to the good life, once  basic human needs for shelter, warmth, food, and safety have been  met, remains practicing kindness, one of the daily Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises.   

 Parenting tip two:  Good manners are the best way to practice kindness.

Parenting tip three:  Teaching good manners is easier than turning everyone into a Harvard Scholar; moreover, it can start as soon as your children start talking.

Parenting tip four: Stepping back a bit from pushing early learning might allow a bit more time for free play and free play builds creativity.

Free play means unstructured play, kids doing what they want with as little supervision or guidance as possible.  Safety first, but freedom-to-just-be next.  

Parenting tip five: Stepping back can also save you two things: time and money.


Remember what matters, laugh and play, find time for you, and practice kindness every way you can, where ever you can, as often as you can. Doing so makes your world a better place.


P.S. The Word Press Daily Prompt for today said to tell a story in which every line began with the same letter.  So here is my effort:

I ran into a bully.

I was scared.

I smiled at him.

I told him how glad I was to see him.

I gave  him a cookie.

I have a new friend.

Hokey, yes, but there it is and related to the subject of this blog post.

Articles of interest