Tag Archives: Emotional Fitness Training Inc

Free 101 Emotional Fitness Course

I am offering  a free on-line 101 Emotional Fitness Course. Good for all and great for stressed out parents as well as a  great way to model emotional fitness for all.

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STAY STRONG

I believe with both my heart and my head that the more the above skills are promoted,  taught deliberately and as part of every school’s curriculum, the more likely emotional intelligence will rule emotions, and the more people so ruled, the greater hope for peace on earth.

Thank you for all you do, particularly if you liked, commented, or shared this post. Kindness and good manners to do so.

 Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

POST INSPIRATION: WORD PRESS DAILY POST CHALLENGE

Twenty-Five Seven Good news — another hour has just been added to every 24-hour day (don’t ask us how. We have powers). How do you use those extra sixty minutes?

My answer?  Nothing different. An extra hour would give me  more time to do as I want, but more importantly,  I am content with how I spend my days.  Are you?  If not you definitely need my course.

FREE STUFF FROM EFTI

Go to the EFTI store and browse its offerings for inspirational quotes or exercises. Go there and subscribe to be notified of new additions.

 PRACTICE KINDNESS

Please rate this material. Doing so helps my ratings.  This is what your stars will mean to me. No stars – Not helpful. One star – Reinforced my knowledge. Two  Stars –  New  information.   Three stars – New useful information; Four stars- Very good.   Five stars – Excellent.

Thank you and stay strong.

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YOU WILL FAIL, ALWAYS!

Failure is part of life.  You will always fail.  But as this poster reminds us, to fail does not mean you are a failure; the best use of a failure is to look for the lessons. The way you deal with mistakes teaches children a life lesson.

Quotes about failing

Today’s parenting tip about failure: read this link: Brain Rules: 5 Brain Rules for Parents.

Stay strong

Failure is not an option it is a reality.  As I have said before one of my mother’s favorite quotes was “Nothing ventured nothing gained.”  She said that in response to the fact I was a shy child.  It worked.  I think you would like it appended to say “Nothing ventured, nothing learned; nothing learned, nothing gained.”

STATUS UP DATE

In a few days I will be on a road trip back East for a visit. At least that is the plan and as my mother would say “God willing.”  This means I might not be posting, although I am hoping to do some road trip posts on my Emotional Fitness Blogs and will at least try to copy them here.  Much depends on the tiredness factor and the availability of wi-fi. Time will tell.

Meanwhile, for all you do to spread kindness, thank you; it matters, you matter.

Katherine

PARENTS BETRAYED

A bit of a blog rant against parent bashing.

A picture about the joys of parent bashing.

 Image found on Pastordk’s blogspot. 

This is what turned me Cranky … teenagers asked for help of a therapist …

“I have trust issues. I don’t trust people, even very close family. I always think people are out to get me and that everyone hates me. Also, if I feel loved or happy a warning goes off in my head telling me I shouldn’t be fooled: no one REALLY loves me, and if I believe that they do, I will end up getting hurt. I don’t know why I feel this way! Nothing ever happened to me to justify this intense fear of rejection.

I understand that part of my believing no one loves me is because I don’t really feel worthy of love because I don’t love myself. Feeling like there is no safe place, no person that can be trusted, is an awful awful feeling. I always feel in danger, I don’t believe the people around me. I feel like people are trying to be nice but they are really lying to me. Please help me feel better.

Nothing ever happened to me to justify this intense fear of rejection.

The therapist answered:

 I know you believe that, but I’m certain that something must have caused this “awful feeling” in you. My guess is that your parents didn’t give you a consistent, constant feeling of “YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU ARE LOVED. WE LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, ALWAYS.”

When parents give children those messages, loud and clear, kids don’t feel the way you’ve described your feelings in your question.

I know most of you are parents, so you understand my crankiness. The therapist was a parent-basher; she looked like a kid herself. Moreover, her advice probably widened the gap between the girl and her parents.

I commented crankily, but probably should have added a small “Thank you” for giving me something to rant about here.

PARENTING ADVICE ABOUT TRUST

My comment complained about parent bashing and then offered the following ideas:

Tip one:  A reality check.  Betrayal and broken trust are part of every relationship no matter how loving.  Think of the toddler in the midst of separation anxiety? Parent leaves. Trust broken. Life goes on.  Think of the beloved grandparent who dies.  Trust broken. Life goes on.

Tip two: We betray each other because we need conflict. Knowing that can keep expectations more realistic.  Keeping expectations realistic reduces the pain that comes from every day betrayals. Moreover, it aids dealing effectively when trust gets broken big time.

Tip three: Rating scales are important in maintaining perspective on many things and broken trust is one of those things.  Even a simple three point scale can help.  Small betrayal, medium betrayal, big time betrayal. It builds perspective.

Tip four:   Strong self-soothing skills help deal with life’s hurtful moments. Think about getting my eBook Self-soothing, creating calm in your life.  It costs less than a Banana Split and does more good.

Tip five:  Strong self-defense skills improve confidence. As always I suggest children profit from taking Peace Aikido training.

STAY STRONG

Broken trust is part of life and  we all need to know that. But distrust can be carried too far.  Being hopeful and emotionally strong enough to withstand hurts and betrayals is the best mix.

Katherine

TWO DISCLAIMERS

The first:  Although built upon evidenced based practices, there is no guarantee my advice is the right advice for you and your family. Experiment, try my tips; if they are not useful to you try another parent adviser. You are the expert on you and your child; the rest of us experts on many different things.

The second: I have dysgraphia, a learning disability that peppers my writing with mis-spelling and punctuation errors. All my books are professionally edited. Not so my blog posts. Although I use all the grammar and spelling checks, mistakes slip by. If they bother you, seek another source of support for life’s less savory moments.   Life is too short to let problems you can avoid annoy or stress you.

CREATING CALM

A reminder. Create calm. Parenting stresses, but staying calm is possible.

Creating calm poster

When you are calm, your children are free to learn and to grow.  

STAY STRONG

As always, remember what matters, enjoy today that is why it is called the present.  Indulge in some healthy pleasures, , practice kindness by sharing and caring, appreciate beauty, and create calm any way you can.

As always thank you for all you do to strengthen me.

Katherine

TWO DISCLAIMERS

The first:  Although built upon evidenced based practices, there is no guarantee my advice is the right advice for you and your family. Experiment, try my tips; if they are not useful to you try another parent adviser. You are the expert on you and your child; the rest of us experts on many different things.

The second: I have dysgraphia, a learning disability that peppers my writing with mis-spelling and punctuation errors. All my books are professionally edited. Not so my blog posts. Although I use all the grammar and spelling checks, mistakes slip by. If they bother you, seek another source of support for life’s less savory moments.   Life is too short to let problems you can avoid annoy or stress you.