Tag Archives: Dog training

TX Children Like Dogs

 I  only half believe in quick fix promises.  However,  one “universal law” many preach often  holds true: The Law of Expectation. But first, how it doesn’t work: 
Texting through Thanksgiving Dinner.
How does this related to TX Children Like Dogs?   Okay, I haven’t put this into words until now,  but the truth remains:  I believe children would benefit if treated a bit like a dog needing training rather than  a precious piece of china needing protection. The world would also benefit, and parents would face less stress if kids had the same kind of basic training dogs get from their mothers or from a dog trainer.

THE LAW OF EXPECTATION stated BY A DOG TRAINER

The following is from Adam G Katz’s newsletter, a must read for all new parents. and a bit better than either of my books. Also on a par with The One Minute Manager, another of my must read books not found in the Parent Section of Your Book Store. 
“Dog Obedience – Your Dog And The Law Of Expectation”
Okay–I just made that up.  I don’t even know if there actually is a
Law of Expectation: your dog will respond to commands and his environment in a manner that is consistent with how you expect him to respond.
I’ve seen this time and time again, when working with clients.
For example, an owner’s dog shows possessive behavior over a bone
or a toy.  The owner apprehensively tries to take the bone away,
but their dog responds by possessively guarding the toy and may
even run off with it.
Game over.
Then, I approach the dog and calmly just take the toy.  The dog
gives it up without even thinking about responding in a possessive
manner.  And the owner is left with their mouth gaping open,
followed by the often-heard surprise remark (so well-known to
professional dog trainers) “Why doesn’t he do that for me?”
He doesn’t, because dogs are experts in reading body language.
Even better than humans are.  And they will react in a manner that
is consistent with how you expect them to act.  Thus: Adam’s Law of
Expectations.
If you act confident when you give commands and EXPECT that your
dog will react accordingly–then he will.  (Assuming you’re using
the right techniques).
If you act without confidence–forget about it!  Your dog will
instantly know you’re not someone to be respected.  And if you’re
not someone to be respected, then your dog will not bond with you,
listen to you or want to please you.
                                                                                                                     Adam

If you find the idea of treating your children like a dog, think about this: Dogs are estimated to have the same IQ as a three-year old child.  In my book, a dog’s  #Emotionalintelligence far exceeds that of most adults.

parent advice

How to put this into play with your children? A few tips.

Tip one: Do stop thinking your children are fragile. Honor their strengths. Expect them to deal with life’s rougher stuff.  Abuse not, but coddle not.

Tip two: Squash your fears and anxiety.  Start by practicing this Emotional Fitness Exercise.  When treating your child like a loving mother or father dog, make Strong Body and Soft Face.

#emotionalintelligence poster coach teaching soft face/strong body. #parent advice

                The above is available as a free digital download at the EFTIStore.

Tip Three: As mother and father dogs know, play is as important as discipline. For dogs and children, playing is learning.  For human kids, playing with Mom and Dad both bonds and teaches. Play lots.

This post relates a bit to today’s WordPress Daily Prompt: Never Gonna Give You Up  You. We know *you* are vice-free, dear Daily Post reader. But, or perhaps we should say, “butt,” others around you and in your life are riddled with vices: they smoke; they eat too much celery; they hog the covers; they can’t keep their hands out of the office candy bowl. Which vice or bad habit can you simply not abide in others?

What  can’t I  abide in others?  Cigar smoking comes to mind for it gives me a headache. But my newest angst comes from bicyclists addicted to speeding without regard to others on shared hiking paths.

As I am totally deaf in one ear, and partially in the other ear, I never hear a speeding bicyclist approaching until they are right behind me.  I am waiting for the day I get knocked down and out.  No, I don’t want that to happen, so I stay mostly on hiking trails were bikes are not allowed and often end up walking on the grass, not the path.

Just decided, I am going to ask for a safety vest like the construction guys and gals wear, but  with the words DEAF printed in large letters on the back.

Stay strong

Parenting remains one of life’s hardest jobs. Moreover, the rewards are often long-delayed.  Keeping calm when all about you including your kids are stepping on your last nerve is often impossible. However, learning and practicing j”Soft Face and Strong Body will make the impossible nearly possible some of the time.

Finally, Thank you for all you do. I am particularly grateful to those who practice internet kindness by liking, rating, commenting, or sharing my posts.

Katherine

LINKS OF INTEREST

 

LOVE IS THE NEW HIPPIE

Hippiness rules the parenting gurus and most dog owners. Usual parent advice Keep the kids happy, praise only, never punish.*

Dog dressed like hippie

My  second favorite dog trainer, Adam Katz, doeth protest. (Husband is my favorite dog trainer for those of you not in the know.

Parenting advice and thoughts about hippiness

You can read Adam’s post here:

http://www.dogproblems.com/blog/hippies-ruined-dog-training

For those too pressed for time to read what he has to say, here are two quotes that address his main complaints:

 … (the) entire hippie attitude of, “Just give warm fuzzies” when the dog does something right and ignore bad behavior is one that didn’t work for the children of the hippie-generation and it doesn’t work for their dogs, either.

,,, (the hippie approach) is ‘force free.’ Can you dig it?” No, I can’t.  What you’re really saying is that you’re not willing to make your dog do anything.  You’re giving all of the power to an animal with a three year-old’s intellect and the physical attributes to kill a person.

His article made me think of my neighbors and their dogs.  Too many are being lead by their dogs, pulled here and there as the dog wants.  Watching these dog lovers being jerked around pains me.

Those of you that have followed my meanderings may recall that just two years ago we adopted Pumpkin now known as Punky. As  Pumpkin he  was dearly loved, and given up for adoption because one the family had developed an allergy to dog dandruff.  Very quickly, we discovered that Punky had been disciplined by being picked up and held by his owner.   Being held kept him happy.

When not in your arms he barked,  became aggressive at all the wrong times, but the biggest problem for me was that you could not walk him on a leash.  I am an aging crone with balance problems and a dog who pulls, as the Punk did, all too quickly can make me kiss the ground.

Fortunately, heeling and loose leash training took very little effort once I started using a choke collar.  The Punk  is a little dog, so I used this type of collar:

Picture of a pinch collor

It is designed to use a bit of pain, negative reinforcement, or that word made dirty by the hippies – punishment.  And I suspect that what Adam finds most irritating is that  most dog owners of today think any choke collar is abusive in much the same way all punishments are classified as abuse by too many  dispensing parent advice.

Adam is not above suggesting  harsher choke collars for larger more aggressive dogs.  As far as I am concerned he is on the right track.

“The Praise, Don’t Punish” movement started with  the misapplication of Parent Effectiveness Training (PET); the heart of PET suggests parents neither praise of punish, but instead focus on natural consequences.  That approach works best with a teen-agers who has been taught right from wrong beginning with the first temper tantrum and continuing until the teens are reached.

The young child bases ideas about right or wrong on the thought that “Might Makes Right.” That is why parents are big and children  small, at least until the teen years come.  Nature’s way of assuring children learned to survive in the real world.

All parents use their might teach the child what not to do.  Don’t think you do? Think again.  Think about the behaviors you do not tolerate.   Punky was carefully potty trained.  He has never once messed in our house.

Need another example?

A hippie like friend of ours was loosey goosey on rules with one exception. That exception? wearing a seat belt.  Always amazed me that her kids who were a handful otherwise, calmly and quietly snapped on their seat belts whenever they got into a car.

If you think for a minute or two, you will realize you have taught and expected you child to follow the rules that are dearest to your heart.  Those rules have been consistently rewarded when obeyed and punished when broken.

Parenting tips

Tip one: Punishment is not a dirty word; it is not abuse; ; punishment is a teaching tool, nothing more., nothing less.

Tip two:  All children are eager to please, eager to get along which  is why praise works.  Not praising is a punishment, so never assume you do not punish your child.

Tip three: Consult seasoned dog trainers who know the proper balance when it comes to balancing praise and reward. Many offer sounder advice than some parenting gurus.

STAYING STRONG

Most manners are based on practicing kindness, so make your children mind theirs..  You will be strengthening their Emotional Intelligence and assuring they have a better shot at the good life.

For all you do to spread my Emotional Fitness Tips, thank you.

Katherine

Articles and links of interest

* This post was inspired byt World Press’ Daily Prompt : Click over to your favorite blog, and pick out the 4th and 14th words (that aren’t “the” or “an”). Drop them into this phrase: “_____ is the new _____.”   There’s your post title. Now write!

And so I wrote.