Tag Archives: Deliberate Kindness

How To Teach Kids To Be Kind – Five Tips

Kids are both kind and cruel. Praising the one and stopping the other is every parent’s job. . Kindness strengthens #emotionalintelligence.

#emotionalintelligence poster coach Practice Kindness

There is much talk about random acts of kindness. and these are good. But better still are practicing deliberate acts as well. The two go together.

Parenting Tips

Parenting Tip One: Start with manners . Manners (not the hoity-toity which spoon goes where manners, but the basic ones) are kindness based.  Holding the door for the person behind you, sharing an umbrella, helping someone across the street, thanking someone who helps you, cleaning up after yourself and others are what I mean by basic manners.

You can start teaching these as soon as you child starts to walk.

I pick up trash along the hiking trails I walk and in various parks. My grandchildren have learned to do the same.

Toddlers can also be taught to the ASL sign for Thank you. Hand to mouth and then down toward the heart.

Saying thank you is an act of deliberate kindessParent Tip Two: Encourage charitable giving. Four and five-year olds love to put coins in charity boxes.  do not pass up an opportunity to teaching giving when you see a charity box. Most cash out counters now include one.

Some families have a charity bank at home and have the kids put part of any money they are given in the box.  Then the kids help give it to some one in need.

Parenting Tip Three: Encourage volunteering for good causes. A teen interested in animals can volunteer at an animal shelter; one interested in becoming a health professional can volunteer at a hospital; one interested in making the world more beautiful can volunteer with the local parks department.

Parenting Tip Four: Have family take part in fund-raising events. Walks are the most common, but others abound and offer family time bonding.

Parenting Tip Five: Teach that kindness is its own reward and not dependent on other people’s response.  As parenting guru David Elkind points out, “Self esteem is built by feeling you are a good person, doing good deeds.


You can get a digital copy of the Kindness poster  free at the EFTI Store.   Download it and post it where you will see it throughout the day. Every time you see it, take a calming breath, recall or plan an act of kindness; feel the warmth kindness creates in your being; take another calming breath, smile, and go about your day seeking always to be kind.

Teach your children to do the same.

Thank you  for all you do

You can practice kindness right now by liking, commenting or sharing. Do so gives me hope that what I do matters and keeps me going.


P.S. This has nothing to do with this Daily WordPress Prompt

Building strength in your child

Two habits build #emotional_intelligence in children. Remembering what matters is the first. Practicing Deliberate Kindness is the second.


What matters? This poster coach says it all:

What matters? Kindness to all.

Putting what matters into action matters as much as remembering it. Practicing kindness every where you can, when you can and as often as you can.  

Teach practicing kindness as a life skill to your child.  Doing so starts with two things: your example, and teaching good manners. Even before s/he has mastered kindness a child can learn to say “Thank you.”
Saying thank you is an act of deliberate kindess
A child can learn to say “Thank You” in American Sign Language, long before s/he can speak. Signing “Thank You” is similar to blowing a kiss, but the hand moves down over the heart.
The next lesson to teach is how to say “I m sorry.” This goes hand in hand with using time out as a disciplinary tool.  The child is released from time out and expected to say “I’m sorry” and only then to get a hug.  
This can also be taught as sign language. To sign “I’m sorry,” make your hand into a fist and rub it in a circular motion across your chest. It is like you are rubbing around your heart.
When the child can talk, the time has come to teach the art of a sincere verbal  apology.  Here is another poster coach detailing that
Emotional Fitness Training Skill Building Poster

All of the Poster Coaches used in this blog post can be downloaded free from the EFTI store.


Apologizing does not come easy to many. Men seem to have the most difficulty, however, actually  apologizing to a child seems difficult for most adults. The more you can apologize and the more you teach your child to do the same, the more good feeling grow both in your heart and in all relationships.
So let me remind you that if my posts annoy, I apologize. I will not stop my efforts to help, but ask you to stop following me. I will not be hurt.
Finally, as always thank you for all you do to support my efforts to make a difference by liking, commenting or sharing this post. You are practicing kindness.


This WordPress Daily Prompt: Against All Odds inspired this post: Tell us about a situation where you’d hoped against all hope, where the odds were completely stacked against you, yet you triumphed. Be sure to describe your situation in full detail. Tell us all about your triumph in all its glory.

I suffer from dysgraphia, it is a little known learning disability that makes getting the thoughts from your brain to a piece of paper in a recognizable form difficult. I confuse words, misspell common words, and violate grammar and punctuation rules constantly.

Given that my father was a news reporter, and wannabe writer, I wanted to be the same. I’ve done that and it has not been easy, nor have I had the great success I aspired to even though I did appear on Oprah.  I do think, however, both my parent’s teaching and empathy for the less-abled, related to my disability, Both  gifts have lead to a deep-seated desire to be kind.

Deliberate Kindness is one of my daily practices. Deliberate Kindness  has given me more contentment than success as a writer would have. Not that I would mind more success and still seek it, but practicing as much kindness as I can is a daily goal and much easier than writing.