PARENTing thoughts ABOUT anger
Despite all the talk of happy parents and happy kids, the truth is raising a child is more often frustrating, anger provoking than happy. The Behaviorism experts believe anger stems from “the interruption of a response sequence.”
You want something and can’t get it. Just think of wanting a good night’s sleep while have to get up every three or four hours to feed a newborn. Raising a child, particurlaly during the very early years means being constantly interrupted.
Even teens with their need to rebel interrupt your hopes you have been a good parent and guided them properly. If you aren’t abusive, and most of us aren not, you have been more than a good enough parent. However, the path teens walk is not controlled by parents. Society and peers take over guiding teens. Usually, parental influence returns when the teen has truly matured. Remember Mark Twain’s comment about how much his father learned in seven years – the years between Mark’s fourteenth and twenty-first birthday.
Hatred is anger encased in ice and planted all too firmly into our brains and hearts. Fortunately few of us learn to hate our children; but many of us do not know how to let go of anger.
PARENT ADVICE ABOUT LETTING GO OF ANGER
Tip one: Be realistic in your expectations. “Blessed are they who expect nothing” said thePaul de Krief’s Microbe Hunters. A good mantra to hold to in terms of your needs when in charge of a young child. In other words, expect to always be interrupted. I have to use the mantra “Not my time” when caring for the grands. Makes me grateful when I can sneak in a bit of doing what I want.
Tip two: Acknowledge your feelings, particularly the negative ones. However, neither stuff long term or act on the urge to vent. Self-sooth instead.
Tip three: My One Minute Meditation is a quick and easy self-soothing exercise. Take a long slow breath in, breathe out slowly, as you smile and say “Thank you” or “Ahhhh.” Then breathe normally and repeat a comforting mantra. Mine has always been “Now is Not Forever.” Reminds me the bad will pass as will the good. Keeps me strong and enjoying what I can.
Tip four: Go to my free guide to the Daily Twelve Emotional Fitness Exercises. Learn and practice each exercise. They are easy to learn, easy to practice and helpful to anyone dealing with life’s stresses, every day angers.
ADDITIONAL STAYING STRONG PARENTING ADVICE
I try not to make easy promises. Letting go of anger is an ongoing process. It has to be. Why? Because every day is filled with situations that frustrate and keep you from doing what you want. So subscribe to my Staying Strong Emotional Fitness Blog for more guidance and support.
You might find my Emotional Fitness Training®’s Pinterest site helpful. Both of my blog posts are pinned there, but I also share lots of other people’s information about staying strong both as a parent and as an individual.
As I tell myself a thousand times a day, stay strong, give lots of love, be grateful, practice kindness, live now, give and seek forgiveness, and always hope the blessing of the forces beyond our control are with you and those you love
Finally, as always thank you for following me and for your support. Liking, commenting, and sharing are other ways you can help me and others stay strong. Moreover, you will be practicing kindness one of the Daily 12 and strengthening your emotional fitness.
DISCLAIMER: FORGIVE MY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS FOR I HAVE DYSGRAPHIA. If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here. Dysgraphia is a not well known learning disability and means that sometimes my sentence structure is not that easy to follow or I make other errors. Still, most people understand me. All of my books are professionally edited, but not all of my blog posts are. If this troubles you, feel free to read elsewhere. If you persevere, you are practicing kindness by lifting my spirits for that means you find what I say helpful and that is one of my missions. Kindness always repays those who spread it.