Tag Archives: advertizing ploys

CRITICAL THINKING MATTERS – PARENTING TIPS

When did you stop believing in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy or the like? When that happened , you were thinking critically and more realistically.

critical thinking quotes

Being able to think realistically improves the odds you will have a safer,  and more content journey through life. All parents want that for their kids.

George V. Coelho, developmental theorist lists three things as necessary for successfully coping with life’s ups and downs:

  1. Coding reality – see what is, not what you want to see.
  2. Comforting yourself when reality is not to your liking.
  3. Feeling you have choice.

Those three attributes are also part of what is called Emotional Intelligence (EI) EI is defined as  a set of abilities related to the understanding, use and management of emotion as it relates to one’s self and others.

Parents play an important role in fostering a child’s EI including the ability to code reality.

Reality check:  Young children do have poetic moments, but thinking that makes great thinkers could get them killed.  Why we make our small children hold our hands crossing the street or in parking lots and discourage playing with matches.

All humans start their lives caught in tunnel vision. As we age hopefully we see wider vistas. However, Thomas Phenlon, a parenting guru I admire, notes that one of the biggest ways parents harm children is by treating them like miniature adults. That means thinking children are critical thinkers.  Not true, critical thinking, what some call intelligent thinking develops as children age.

Here is some good news for all. Intelligence is limited by our genes.  Not a politically correct notion, but wishing won’t change that we are not all equally endowed with intelligence.  Part of intelligence is Emotional Intelligence meaning thinking about what your feelings are suggesting and knowing when to act on those suggestions and when not to.

The good news? Emotional Intelligence is learned, not gifted and can always be improved.

More good news: Studies show that Emotional Intelligence is more important in living the good life than intelligence in general and is more important than money, education or social class in getting ahead.

PARENTING TIPS

Tip one: . You need to keep age and stage in mind.

  1. Pre-school aged children cannot think beyond  the feeling of the moment.
  2. School aged child cannot think beyond what can be seen, heard, or touched.
  3. Starting with the preteens children  become more and more able to think about abstract things like possibilities and  varying points of view. This shift in thought explains why teens are often so critical of parents
  4. As the child moves into adulthood, life experiences  improve judgement, something teens often lack.

Warning: The guidelines are general and some never become critical thinkers; others do it earlier than the above parameters.

Tip two: Do not worry  about a pre-schooler’s fantasies; at the same time, point out the make-believe stuff. Label play and make-believe as pretending or imaging. Do so in a calm matter of fact way.

Tip three:  Keep the fun in fantasy.  Saying “It is fun to believe in make-believe” when hanging up the Christmas stockings will not in any way diminish the child’s pleasure, but does pave the way for when s/he begins to understand what is real and what is not.

Tip four: Allow as much choice as possible, but label choices  “You have two choices” works well when  you can let the child pick one or the other.  Then label the child’s choices; “A wise choice.”  or ”Not the best choice.”  Also hold to safety and other major rules as “Not a choice.”

Tip five: Once the child stops believing in the Santa Claus or similar myths, start asking as you watch movies or media together “What’s real about that?” or “What’s fantasy about that?” Also be quicker to point out twisted thinking.   The following are  fairly easy to spot when you hone your critical thinking skills.

12 Examples of twisted thinking aka #fallaciousarguments

Tip six:  As the preteen or teens are entered upon continue the discussions suggested above, but go deeper.  The easiest  way to encourage deeper thought is to say “And” when the child or teen seems to have reached a limit in thinking critically.

See this post on sneaky hypnotism for other ideas.

Tip seven: As always your child models you. So you need to hone your critical thinking skills.   Parenting tips five and six, done with your child strengthens your EI as well as your child’s.

 There are other ways. Any activity that involves you in debates about differing view points  works.

Playing games of logic and doing puzzles.  My six-year-old grandson has just discovered UNO which combines luck and logic. It is also a game that can be fun for children and adults. And there is always chess. Many of our foster children liked to play chess with David.

 I do lots of puzzles.  I enjoy them and do them as one of my Daily Emotional Fitness Exercise “Laugh, Play, and Create.

But having fun is not enough to keep critical thinking abilities  improving.  The experts say, such puzzles only improve you thinking skills if they are challenging, so push yourself. I always do those that are above my level and “cheat” by getting help from the answers, only I do not call it cheating, but learning.

Now is also time to talk a bit about computers, TV and social media. I advocate the use of all three, but with an eye to moderation and safety.

My grandchildren love videos. Early on they have been exposed to  a number of the Baby Einstein series and  Signing Time  which teaches sign language being their favorite. They watch them during quiet time, so I can sneak in a quick power nap.

I know some parents ban all such things, but that only adds to their glamour. One of our neighbors why back when my kids were growing up. Banned TV. All three of their sons now work in Hollywood, producing movies and televisiou shows. Moderation is always a better choice than fanaticism.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting.

Thank you for all you do., Work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult and parenting a struggle.

Katherine

This post was not inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt:  Pick Your GadgetYour local electronics store has just started selling time machines, anywhere doors, and invisibility helmets. You can only afford one. Which of these do you buy, and why?

However, it does have some relatedness. Right now my gadget of choice would be an electronic keyboard. Why? My grandkids love making music and are ready for an upgrade.  Surfing Goodwill. Wish me luck.

Advertisements

Safety Proof Your Child Against The Admen

Our media driven society pushes us to be perfect and is a sales ploy by those trying to sell you something. Not at all helpful: harmful to  children and parents.

quotes about advertising

PARENting ADVICE

Safety proof your child against the siren calls  of the advertisers. These tips show you how:

Tip one: Educate yourself in the art of detecting efforts to get you to buy what you don’t need.

I get very cranky when my favorite food store reorganizes its shelves so I have to wander around to find things. The  hope  is that I will stumble on something I don’t need but might buy impulsively. The more you wander a store, the more you buy.

I have also given up buying magazines. Why? Even the articles are advertisements urging you to buy this or that.

In addition to the usual ads hawked before, during, and after tv shows, talk and reality shows, including  my favorite cooking shows. have become advertisements for celebrities as well as other products.

Tip Two: Improve your all  critical thinking skills. Here are  the major ways our thoughts get twisted.

12 Examples of twisted thinking aka #fallaciousarguments

Tip Three: Teach the difference between wants and needs. We need food and water; we do not need junk food or flavored water.

Tip Four Teach your child to think critically. The younger your child the more s/he  needs your help sorting out what is real and what is not.

Do not worry  about a pre-preschooler’s fantasies; at the same time, point out the make-believe stuff. Label play and make-believe as pretending or imaging.

Saying “It is fun to believe in dream of being a major league star, but not all dreams come true will not seriously diminish the child’s pleasure, while paving the way for when s/he begins to understand what is real and what is not.

Once the child stops believing in the Santa Claus or similar myths, start asking as you watch movies or media together “What’s real about that?” or “What’s fantasy about that?”

As the teens are entered upon, continue the discussions suggested above, but go deeper.  One easy way to encourage deeper thought is to say “And” when the teen seems to have reached a limit in his thoughts.

Tip five: Teach about advertising. This can also start when you child is young. Just saying, “Than’s an ad, trying to get you to buy something.”

Tip six: Let your child struggle a bit  when it comes to wants. It is your job to supply needs, not wants. Do not reward too quickly. Encourage earning wants.

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting.

Thank you for all you do., Work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult and parenting a struggle.

Katherine

This post was not inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt however it relates a bit.

The Outsiders:Tell us about the experience of being outside, looking in — however you’d like to interpret that.

Window shopping is what came to mind and the advertizers use window displays to encourage buying.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)

 

 

Start as soon as your child begins watching videos or television to improve his or her critical thinking.  

PRACTICE KINDNESS

Sharing is caring; so is liking, or commenting.

Thank you for all you do., Work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult and parenting a struggle.

Katherine

This post was not inspired by this WordPress Daily Prompt

By the Dots: We all have strange relationships with punctuation — do you overuse exclamation marks? Do you avoid semicolons like the plague? What type of punctuation could you never live without? Tell us all about your punctuation quirks!

However, when writing a Memory Book there is no need to try to please the grammar kings when creating a memory book. Just do it.

LINKS OF INTEREST

These links are for those not familiar with Emotional Intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.

Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises (www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
The five components of Emotional Intelligence (www.sonoma.edu)Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents(amazon.com)