Some people including some kids don’t listen until you yell.
Think about how you knew your parents meant business. My father who rarely yelled, raised his voice a notch or two. My mother who seemed to yell all the time spoke very softly and lowered her voice by five notches.
A slightly better way: One Two Three Magic. by Thomas Phelan. Here is what I think he suggests in a nutshell:
- Establish rules.
- Establish which rules must be obeyed.
- Establish the punishments for not obeying, usually a time out.
- Tell the kids you will warn them when they are in danger of being punished. with a single word. One for not listening, Two for crossing the line, Three have earned a punishment.
- Hold three practice sessions.
Works best if both parents are together in implementing this. I use it with my grandchildren. Their grandfather does not. He is much easier going then I am. Whatever. Note, however, when I say “One,” obedience ensues.
Phelan also makes the point parents talk too much. Obviously what Mom was doing in the picture posted above.
Warning: This is to be used as you are teaching children right from wrong. That is best done from age two to twelve. Teens need a different approach. Thomas Gordon’s Parent Effective Training’s Let go and let life teach works well, but only if kids have been taught right from wrong.
Finally, here’s the best book for combining Phelan and Gordon’s approach: The One Minute Manager by Ken Blanchard.
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LINKS OF INTEREST
These links are for those not familiar with Emotional intelligence or the idea of Emotional Fitness.