Children get hurt and rush for a hug or a cuddle. Helpful, but hugs do always help, particularly as the child becomes a teen; then knowing what matters does.
Parenting tip one: Self-soothing is an essential skill when it comes to enduring life’s slings and arrows.
When teaching, remember age and stage. Infants need to learn the ABC’s of self’-soothing. That is done by not rushing to comfort. Sleep is the best time to ignore cries for help. Most night-time criers will cry themselves to sleep or back to sleep and wake up happy and cheerful.
When language develops more direct teaching can begin. Teaching Calming Breath starts the process. See the Breathing Buddies link below.
Parenting tip two: Learning to rate physical pains can begin as soon as the child is learning to walk and talk. Applaud tumbles when the child gets up and goes on. But if the child cries rate the pain for the child. Here is a useful rating scale:
- Immobilized by pain and cannot even come to you for comfort say = Very Big Pain
- Rushes to you, but has a hard time calming down, say = Big Pain
- Calms down easily once in your lap, say = Middle-size Pain.
- Stops crying as soon as in your lap, say = Small Pain
As the pain decreases note “Pain getting smaller.”
Parenting tip three: By the time a child enters school you can start teaching that life brings pain and learning to tolerate pain matters. Start by teaching what matters most on getting to the good life; that means teaching the Golden Rule in one of its many variations.
Parenting tip four: As pain can lead to anger and the wish to hurt others, teach how to vent anger without hitting out.
Abuse cannot be tolerated. Learning to defend yourself as the karate teaching Peace Dojo‘s do stops abuse. Their way channels anger onto positive paths while strengthening a child’s ability to defend against those who attack physically. Good for all in the family.
Parenting tip five: Teach making amends, forgiveness and letting to.
Parenting tip six: Teach and follow the Five in One Rule. That rule? For every prick there must be five kisses or the equivalent of kisses.
LINKS OF INTEREST
- Breathing Buddies (youtube.com)
- Katherine Gordy Levine (amazon.com).
- Emotional Intelligence (en.wikipedia.org)
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Thank you and work at staying strong until next time,. I work hard to do the same as life is often difficult but staying strong lets me find the good.