Pain Tolerance Matters More Than Happiness

This post came to me after reading today’s WordPress’s Daily Prompt.  The question was do you plan trips or wander spontaneously.  Read this first.

To get the good, you need to endure the pain

To answer the prompt: I am a compulsive trip planner, I want to get where I am going as quickly and easily as possible. My husband, however, is a happy wanderer. He likes to “Go Round Robin’s Barn” as my mother used to say.

Together we get there on time but enjoy wonders along the way.

parenting TIP

Balance works best and partnering with others adds balance.  Partnering also brings pricks and pains.  Balancing the good and the bad is essential the closer the relationship.

With all the emphasis on happiness circulating around those dispensing advice to parents, pain tolerance is neglected. Not good.  How do you build pain tolerance in your children? Here are three parenting tips that will help.

Parenting tip one: Self-soothing is an essential skill when it comes to enduring life’s slings and arrows. Self-soothing skills can be taught at any age, but when teaching, remember age and stage. Infants need to learn the ABC’s of self’-soothing.  That is done by not rushing to comfort. Sleep is the best time to ignore cries for help. Most night-time criers will cry themselves to sleep or back to sleep and wake up happy and cheerful.  

When language develops more direct teaching can begin.  Teaching Calming Breath starts the process.  See the Breathing Buddies link below.

Parenting tip two:  By the time a child enters school you can start teaching that life brings pain and learning to tolerate pain matters.  Start by teaching what matters most on getting to the good life; that means  teaching the Golden Rule in one of its many variations.

As pain can lead to the desire to hurt others, it is also important to teach making amends and forgiveness. 

Parenting tip three: As always you need to model what you teach. Bad news? Not really for by learning to self-sooth and remember what matters you will increase your ability to tolerate pain and add to your ability to enjoy the good.


One way to survive the pricks of close relationships is to follow the Five in One Rule. That rule? For every prick there must be five kisses or the equivalent of kisses.   And as always abuse cannot be tolerated.

If you are new to the idea of emotional fitness exercises visit this blog page: Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises to get started  improving your emotional intelligence.

Thank you all for all you do to care and share with others. Doing a little matters a lot.



12 responses to “Pain Tolerance Matters More Than Happiness

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  10. Rule 1: Don’t be a prick.
    Rule 2: Don’t let the pricks get you down.
    I like that – you have summed up my philosophy nicely!
    And you’re right; pain tolerance really is greatly underestimated in this day of hyper-sensitivity about our own feelings and zero sensitivity towards others. Thank you.

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