All parent advice stresses communication as an essential parenting tool. Few mention the most important rule. It relates a bit to this cartoon.
We think we are clear, we think we speak the same language, but communication is response. If you are not getting the response you want from a child, you are not communicating.
Parenting thoughts ABOUT failing to communicate
If you don’t know how your child thinks you cannot communicate effectively. Piaget, one of the earliest and most thoughtful students of how children grow, identified four different levels of thought each child passes through on the way to adulthood. Here is a quick down and dirty summary about on the way a child’s thinking changes as he or she grows:
- Until language develops, the child absorbs information more by bodily movements, but is also learning language.
- Once language is developed, the child can think about things, but his or her thoughts are magical and driven mostly by the child’s feelings. If the child wakes up in a dark room and is scared, he or she will create one or another monster lurking somewhere in the room.
- This next stay develops when toys no longer talk, minature people do not live in the television set, and myths like Santa Claus are known to be made up. The child, however, cannot think clearly about many things, particularly abstract ideas. This means the child cannot really think “If then” possibilities when it comes to solving problems.
- Adolescence brings with it the possibility to think broadly and in the “If then” mode. This opens doors and window to a much wider world and allows both scientific thinking and magical thinking. However, judgement is often lacking as experience is limited.
PARENTING ADVICE About communication
Tip one: Always hold to the idea that communication is response.
Tip two: Tone and body language are as important as words; sometimes more important.
Tip three: Three quarters of communication is listening.
Parenting is difficult and often a struggle as you must know by now. All sorts of feelings surface. Visit my Daily Twelve Emotional Fitness Exercises for more hints about staying strong. Visit the EFTI Store for Poster Coaches that will keep you strong. Many are free.
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DISCLAIMER: FORGIVE MY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS FOR I HAVE DYSGRAPHIA. If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here. I have dysgraphia which means that sometimes my sentence structure is not that easy to follow or I make other errors. Still, most people understand me. All of my books are professionally edited, but not all of my blog posts are. Thanks for your understanding and reading my work.
FURTHER PARENT ADVICE CAN BE FOUND IN MY BOOKS
All my books are available on Amazon, and readable on any tablet, laptop, Mac, PC, e-reader or Kindle device.‘When Good Kids Do Bad Things. A Survival Guide for Parents of Teenagers‘ Parents Are People Too. An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents Tame the Test Anxiety Monster How to Hold A Successful Family Meeting
Posted in Parenting Issues