The Dali Lama calls emotional fitness “educating the heart.”  Watch this video to learn more about  educating your child’s heart.

PARENTiNG THOUGHTS ABOUT educating the heart

Hope you watched the video. It is a lovely call for revamping our schools to educate the heart as well as the mind.  The Dali Lama focuses on compassion and kindness and of course makes use of meditation to deal with stress.

I disagree on one issue – defending yourself. Those dedicated to the pacifism of  Buddhism will not slap a mosquito – inviting death if you live where malaria kills.  So while I educated my children’s heart, I also had them take karate with a peace-seeking dojo.

The easiest way to start educating your children’s heart is to educate your own heart first. In order for the heart to be heard, you have to create peace in your mind and your world.


Here are three self soothing exercises that are easy to learn, take minutes to practice, and in time become almost automatic, providing you practice them as directed.

Tip one: The One Minute Meditation.  Take a slow deep breath in, Hold until you feel tense, slowly breathe out; when breathing in for your next breath say “Thank” and smile gently.  That is what EFTI calls a Calming Breath.  Keep breathing but normally; observe,and count your breaths. When you have counted ten breaths, take another Calming Breath and go on with your life.

Tip two: Sloganeering calms negative self talk.  Calming slogans need to be short and contain only positive words.  Examples: “Staying strong,” “Moving on,” “Doing my best,” or “Kindness helps.”  When stress builds doing the one minute Meditation and then continuing to repeat a calming slogan over and over in your head blocks negative self-talk. Some sing a song, others pray.

Tip three: Relax your face. A relaxed face, what EFTI calls Soft Face involves keeping  your jaw relaxed, your teeth unclenched, your lips almost smiling, your eyes wide, your eyebrows un-knotted, and your forehead smooth. Practice in front of a mirror.


Parenting is hard work and today’s parents carry far too much stress.  You can add more calming exercises to those descibed above.  Be With Beauty is another.


Sharing knowledge nourishes my heart; it is one of the ways I practice kindness.  However, I also have to pay my bills. Most of my products and books cost less than a latte and can be downloaded using a Kindle app so you can read them on your computer.

The newest book in my Emotional Fitness Training Series is Know Your Feelings Become a Feeling Detective.  You may think you know what you feel, but many negative feelings wear tricky disguises and fool you into acting against your best interests.  Feeling awareness, being a skilled Feeling Detective, keeps negative feelings in their place.

A free bee: My Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness Exercises will be available this weekend for free.

A plea:  Hundreds have downloaded my books for free. Makes me happy. Fewer than thirty have written a review.  Reviews spread knowledge and help sales. Please if you download one, write a review.

For all you do, thank you.



The first:  Although built upon evidenced based practices, there is no guarantee my advice is the right advice for you and your family. Experiment, try my tips; if they are not useful to you try another parent adviser. You are the expert on you and your child; the rest of us experts on many different things.

The second: I have dysgraphia, a learning disability that peppers my writing with mis-spelling and punctuation errors. All my books are professionally edited. Not so my blog posts. Although I use all the grammar and spelling checks, mistakes slip by. If they bother you, seek another source of support for life’s less savory moments.   Life is too short to let problems you can avoid annoy or stress you.


  1. Pingback: EDUCATE YOUR HEART | Emotional Fitness

  2. Pingback: Free EI Exercises | Emotional Fitness

  3. Pingback: ONE MINUTE VACATIONS | Emotional Fitness

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.