Keeping cool was a daily struggle for me as a parent, more so as a foster parent. Not you? Lucky, lucky you. For the rest of us feeling thermometers are a must.
Parenting advice about keeping your cool
Notice this is a bit like a traffic light: green says okay, yellow says be careful, and red says stop. You need to take your feeling temperature at the first hint of stress. This feeling thermometer reminds you bring your self-soothing exercises into the picture before the feeling controls you.
Failing to bring your self-soothing skills into play during the yellow light levels guarantees a negative feeling will control you. When negative feelings control, you end up doing something you regret. Using calming tools at the five or six level works best.
For a variety of Self-soothing Skills that help you create calm in you life, consider buying my newest e-Book. The book details 22 self-soothing exercises, some you probably uses, but others that will be new to you. Added value: The book costs less than a Starbuck’s fancy latte. Moreover, it lasts longer.
A parenting tip
Start teaching your kids to rate feelings. With the littlest ones, a three-step short response to bumps and bruises starts the process.
- A minor bump but no tears – Not a bad one.
- One that leads to tears – Bad.
- Bruises and bleeding – Terrible.
By the time a child can speak you can post a feeling thermometer on the refrigerator and start talking about your own annoyance in terms yellow and red light clues.
Finally, if you hold family meetings and you should, start and end each meeting with a quick go round asking everyone’s feeling temperature.
my effort to reduce stress
An overload of social media increases stress. Ask me. My stress level is at a six or seven much of the time. That me more vulnerable to negative feelings. To help my self and provide a different choice for my readers, I am starting newsletter. I will post a bit less and you can choose to by-pass some or all blog posts. A quick read, the newsletter will link you to the my popular blog posts of the two previous weeks, add some news, poster coaches, jokes, and resources.
Parenting was hard enough when I was raising my kids. Today’s parents are over-worked making it all that much harder. Remembering what matters is perhaps the most important of all my Daily Twelve Easy Emotional Fitness exercises. To stay in touch with what matters, think of a minute of what you would regret doing or not doing if you were to die a year from now.
As usual for all you do to support me, thank you.
The first: My advice is just that. Although based on what are called evidenced based practices, the is no guarantee it is the right advice for you and your family. Experiment, try my exercises, if they are not useful to you try another parent adviser.
The second: I have dysgraphia, a learning disability that peppers my writing with mis-spelling and punctuation errors. All my books are professionally edited. Not so my blog post. Although I use all the grammar and spelling checks, mistakes slip by. If they bother you, seek another source of support for life’s less savory moments. Life is to short to let problems you can avoid annoy or stress you.