Are you good enough parent? This blog post helps you decide.
I wonder if I am the only one upset by all the parent bashing. I have recently gotten in trouble for defending some parents on some social media accounts.
I bristle at the way parents and adults are portrayed in the media. Take the movie How to Tame Your Dragon. Have you seen it? Well, it makes the case that parents and other adults are bigots, fairly stupid, and prone to war.
Adding to my unhappiness has been a growing trend among the ads on tv. Have you noticed it? More and more ads have children dispensing advice to grownups – advice that makes the grownups look like dolts. Makes me very cranky. Do keep in mind that creating doubt sells.
But the biggest problem for me has always been the expectation that somehow it was possible to raise children without raising your voice. It started with Parent Effectiveness Training and moved on to How To Talk So Kids Will Listen; Siblings Without Rivalry; One, Two, Three Magic; and current books like The Secrets of Happy Families. Not that each book is all bad. Far from it. But the overall message is parenting should be conflict free. Just not true. Which is why I wrote my book Parents Are People Too, an Emotional Fitness Program for Parents.
Therapists, particularly those identified with children and who are not hands-on parents, are the most unrealistic. These are followed fairly quickly by teachers. Finally, teens and far too many adults, blame parents. Children of all ages are left off the hook when parents are held responsible for insuring mental health, success, and happiness.
Parent advice about good enough parents
Tip one: Get clear on the difference between good-enough and neglectful or abusive parenting. Neglectful is depriving children of affection, of food, of medical care; abusive is most generally defined as punishments that cause tissue damage or forcing sex on a child. If you are guilty of those two behaviors, you are not a good enough parent.
Tip two: Get real about the facts of life. It comes with stress, with emotional messiness, trauma, anger, joy, happiness, stress. Kids who learn happiness is not a privilege or a right better handle life as it is.
Tip three: Good enough parents model the give and take of relationships.
Relationships pose some of life’s more difficult struggles. Being a parent is difficult enough without infusing false expectations of happiness. If you find stress and negative emotions eroding the good times, consider buying my eBook Parents Are People Too: An Emotional Fitness Training Program for Parents.
For more advice staying strong, go to any one of my others sites.
Emotional Fitness on Pinterest When Good Kids Do Bad Things Facebook Page Parents Are People Too Blog Emotional Fitness Facebook Page Emotional Fitness Training Blog
DISCLAIMER: FORGIVE MY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS FOR I HAVE DYSGRAPHIA. If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here. Dysgraphia is a not well known learning disability and means that sometimes my sentence structure is not that easy to follow or I make other errors. Still, most people understand me. All of my books are professionally edited, but not all of my blog posts are. If this troubles you, feel free to read elsewhere. If you persevere, you are practicing kindness by lifting my spirits for that means you find what I say helpful and that is one of my missions. Kindness always repays those who spread it.