Worrying erodes emotional fitness and destroys what can be enjoyed. When we start setting our children free, sending them out into the world, we worry more.
My mother always said the death of a child, was a blow no parent recovered from. I think the death of her younger sister sent her almost good enough mother over the edge. When we start setting our children free, we start worrying big time, because bad things happen, including death. But we can’t tie our children to our apron strings or the bedpost. What to do?
I always loved this quote and use it to combat worrying. Still, I am a worrying one. What I try to do is not let my worrying keep me awake, or have me fussing and fuming about what I cannot control, or trying to keep my kids safe by keeping them at home. I work to own my worrying. Here’s another quote.
Parenting advice about worrying.
Tip one: Check reality. The news and media add to worries by inflating the horrors. The reports about texting and driving are a good example. But accidents caused that way are few.
Kids are for the most part too smart to text and drive. Drive and talk on their cell phones—more likely.
Moreover, most people avoid accidents when doing foolish thngs like speeding, or driving while chatting on a cell phone. For as my mother often said, “God protects the foolish.”
Tip two: Make peace with what you cannot control, but control what you can.
When I finally finished my education, my first job was as a medical social worker. I became familiar with people’s strengths, but also with the inevitability of death. Painful, but forced a reality on me that I knew in the long run, I could not control. Helped me to cherish life and do my best to enjoy all I had been given.
Both of my parents had also talked in their own way about focusing on what you control and not wasting time on what you cannot control. Not easy. I could control giving the car keys to my teens until I was confident they were responsible drivers, but I couldn’t control the risks they took on their snowboards.
I could and did teach and model staying as safe as possible. Accepting that bad things happen does not mean courting them.
Tip Three: When you find yourself worrying, try a few emotional fitness strategies. Here are the three that help me most.
- Distraction: Do something that absorbs your attention and makes you feel good. This can be reading, watching a sit-com, or for me, cleaning out some messy drawers because I love creating order out of chaos.
- Calming self talk which can be singing, praying or just repeating a slogan.
- Exercising. When I was younger and light on my feet, jogging or dancing to one of Richard Simmons tapes kept worries from owning me.
Let me know what you do to stop useless worrying.
Parenting is difficult and often a struggle as you must know by now. All sorts of feelings surface. Worrying is a big one. Try my tips, they will probably help. If not, my advice is not to ignore excessive worrying, but to get professional help.
As always, thank you for your support, it means a great deal to me.
DISCLAIMER: FORGIVE MY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS FOR I HAVE DYSGRAPHIA. If you need perfect posts, you will not find them here. I have dysgraphia which means that sometimes my sentence structure is not that easy to follow or I make other errors. Still, most people understand me. All of my books are professionally edited, but not all of my blog posts are. Thanks for your understanding and reading my work.
FURTHER PARENT ADVICE CAN BE FOUND IN MY BOOKS
All my books are available on Amazon, and readable on any tablet, laptop, Mac, PC, e-reader or Kindle device.‘When Good Kids Do Bad Things. A Survival Guide for Parents of Teenagers‘ Parents Are People Too. An Emotional Fitness Program for Parents Tame the Test Anxiety Monster How to Hold A Successful Family Meeting