Parents are power leaders , coaches, teachers as well as nurturers. I read lots of management stuff. One of the blogs I follow is Craig Harper and he stirred quite a storm with this post asking parents to rate behaviors they would found upsetting in their 15 year old.
These were the behaviors he asked us to rate:
- Using the ‘F’ word in general conversation (when you’re not around)
- Lying to you regularly
- Drinking an occasional glass of alcohol behind your back (twice a week)
- Smoking cigarettes (one or two each day)
- Skipping school behind your back (once a month)
- Having sex with the same person (of similar age) once a week
- Playing computer games for three hours every day
My most offensive two were using the F word when I am not around and lying to me regularly. I don’t think anyone agreed with me on the F word. Sigh. That does not mean I was wrong.
What was the determining factor in my choice of these two as matches lighting my no-no fire? If you read my post on Language Matters, you know why I chose the F word. It offends others. As for lying, regularly, doing so destroys relationships.
I preach four Living the Good Life Rules: respect self, respect others, respect property, respect laws. Now as an aging hippy, I do understand there are laws that should be protested. That was what we did. We also did so respecting others and respecting property. So guess what upsets me about the Occupy Wall Street Movement?
What is a parent to do? There is no magic to the job of raising children so they can live the good life and that means being a responsible citizen. It is hard work and made harder by the “Any thing goes” culture of today at least as projected by the media. It is my hope that by realizing there are only four big rules you will find stressing what really matters easier.
Keep caring; it works and keeps all strong.