Few things erode emotional fitness and caring relationships as much as disputes about the friends a teen picks, particularly if the teen falls in love with one of those friends. Happens all the time. Why? Read on.
PARENTING tHOUGHTS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AND lOVE
First, I believe more in bad behavior than bad kids. However, good intentions can lead to bad behavior. Nor is it possible to deny that a few kids and adults engage in behaviors that most people label bad or even evil.
Many needs are served when a good kid hangs out with a bad crowd or falls in love with some thought bad by most parents. Here are a few of the reasons why.
For some of the good kids it is a declaration of emancipation from parental edicts and control. In fact for both groups that is a reason. The bad kids have just been doing it longer.
Then there is the excitement and pleasure found in the forbidden. Also works for both groups.
Good kids have delusions of reform. This is particularly true when love is involved. Moreover, sometimes the right love does pull someone from a negative path.
The bad kid when loved by a good kid gets a jolt of self-esteem. The good kid’s love feels and often is, at least for a while, unconditional.
A good kid’s presence can often help bad kids be less bad. We all need a little help controlling our worse behaviors.
Sometimes, we also need a little push to do things we want to do and fear doing. So lots of times, the bad kids gives the good kid permission to do what parents have forbidden.
No wonder parents worry and try to control who a good kid hangs around with. But the age of chaperons has long vanished in most of the world. Even when chaperoning was strongly enforced, it did not always work. In most modern societies parental control is long gone by the times the teens are reached. Not comforting news.
PARENTing ADVICE ABOUT THE COMPANY CHILDREN KEEP
A useful tool is to start helping your child figure out what friendship is all about and what makes up a good friend.
The fact remains, however, when a child begins hanging out with a bad crowd or falls in love with a “bad” kid, wise parents embrace who their child embraces. As Shakespeare taught us, parents have little power against the crazy glue of some attractions. While embacing, parents also need to pray a great deal to whatever higher power they cherish to keep their child safe from harm.
For more tips my eBook ‘When Good Kids Hang Out With The Wrong Crowd‘ will be a free download on Amazon from Saturday June 1st to midnight Wednesday June 5th. The free download can be read on computers, laptops and other devices using Amazon’s free reading tools. If you do download it, consider posting a review; I’d really appreciate it.
Use some of your me-time to read and plan. Moreover if you have questions about what I suggest, you can ask them on the comments to this post. Finally, I will be repeating this post at least once while the offer holds.
Also, try to schedule some family fun time as well as quiet time and me time this weekend and every day. Fun keeps all strong. Good luck.